also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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