This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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