Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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