Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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