While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize