I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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