I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
