Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize