Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
