batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
