hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
