my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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