I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
