Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
