Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
