No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
