is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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