why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize