I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
