Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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