I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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