it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so thatβs how Syracuse is doing today.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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