I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
They should really pass out barf bags in church
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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