Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
