I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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