girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
