you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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