Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
