Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
