if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize