I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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