i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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