Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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