Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
