u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
