His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
