If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
