All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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