Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize