guys are only as good as the porn they watch
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
