Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
