if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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