You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
