Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
