You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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