i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
MIDGETS
????
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
