what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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