then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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