Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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