can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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