That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
