positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
