I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
