I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
