So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
