ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
