first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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