Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
