Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just invented taco cereal.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
