Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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