she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Randomize
