Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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