how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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