Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
