She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
