we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
