why didn't you poke me back
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
