I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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