i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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