wat bout pragnant strippers??
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
