im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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